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How we explain date nights to our kids

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Emman and I make it a point to go on weekly or at least bi-weekly date nights, especially since we started having kids. Date nights are a chance for us to regularly reconnect and spend intentional time with each other. I look forward to a nice meal, talking about things other than household logistics. I know some couples do date nights at home, opting to watch a movie or to eat dinner together once the kids are asleep. More often than not, we prefer going out for dinner because the change in scenery helps us talk about non-household related things and let’s face it, watching Netflix doesn’t really lead to meaningful conversations.

Of course, going out means leaving the kids at home. When they were younger, our kids often asked why we had to go on date nights (sometimes with tears in their eyes). We explain that “Mommy and papa need to spend time alone with each other to love each other better. When daddies and mommies love each other better, they can love their children better too.” We also tell them that the most important relationship we have after our relationship with God is our marriage. Keeping a relationship strong means spending time with one another. We hope that giving them the right perspective about marriage early on in life will benefit their own marriages in the future.

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How do you explain date nights to your kids? Any tips to share?

Wife and mom of 3 based in London. Born and raised in Manila. Blogging about motherhood and fitness.

2 Comments

  • Th

    i have two older girls ( 8,9 ) and two younger girls ( 2,4) and i have explained to them it’s important to go out for parents as you mentioned above but i feel like they have this idea that all my time is for them or ( they think they will miss out ) … so whenever we go on a date which isnt weekly … and we would drop them to the grandparents as they live very close, they would ask a lot of questions, like where are you going,,, what will u do… and so on…. and they give me the expression like they will feel they will miss out,,,forexample … once we were going to the movies and when they found out they made this excited yet very surprised face “ you are going to the cinema?! “ and i didnt know what to say…. i feel frustrated and guilty when this goes on and it happens more from the older girls …. 

  • elskenewman

    We very rarely go on date nights unfortunately, getting someone to look after the kids is tricky and eating out is so expensive, but because we go so rarely the kids don’t mind.

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